Quality Writing
Pain
Pain is the father of Suffering, the son of Fear and Power. He is also the brother of Confusion.
At the age of three, Pain was once named Happiness because of his charisma and enthusiasm. Happiness walked with style and flowed with the wind, his long brown hair blows in the wind, a happy tune is whistled while he walks down the street wearing a white cotton shirt with clean, brand new jeans. Happiness has lived a happy life with a lot of friends and wealthy parents. But a tragic earthquake occurred, tearing the house in half and taking his parents as well. Happiness had a big part of his life destroyed and his soul… gone. His name was changed to Pain because that is the feeling that he has every minute of every day.
Now, Pain has black long hair covering a pale white face, staring through big black bulgy eyes. He wears a ripped shirt saying, ‘I have no life’ and an old pair of jeans torn straight down the sides. He lives alone in a wooden home which was torn in half by an earthquake which separated himself from his parents. Since then, Pain has stayed inside his torn house and living a torn life with a torn heart. Pain sleeps on a slim mattress with nothing but a towel to keep him warm from the intense wind flying throughout his house.
Pain has had a dream of getting a job but has never tried to reach that dream because of his empty soul and his torn heart. He lies on his mattress thinking and wondering about the outside world, I world that he never had the chance to do. But all of this changed when he decided to take his first agonizing steps off his mattress and outside into the unknown. Outside his house, black clouds surrounded the sky as hailstones pounded onto the ground. This was all new to Pain but he continued placing one foot in front on another until he suddenly collapsed. This is the feeling you get when you know you don’t have what it takes and you also feel something gnawing at your heart, taking it away bit by bit.
Pain is still trying to overcome the feeling of his heart disappearing bit by bit and he is also trying to accomplish his dream of finally getting a job and pursue his old identity of Happiness, the person with all the friends and family he needs.
Filed under: Term 2
Great Writing jayden500.
I think there could have been and end statement but thats my point of view.
I think you had a great understanding of pain.
Great work.
Wow, what a fabulous piece of writing. I am glad that your classmate Hamish commented on our Year 9 class blog to encourage us to comment as it made me read your writing more closely. I disagree with bigman747 as I think the end works as it is. I love teaching writing, and really like blogging as it is a way for good writing to get a wider audience, which you really deserve.